Dara Douglas Third Edit

Dara Douglas [EDIT]
Alex Goodman
Oct 25, 2010

When I first met Dara Douglas*, I was file clerking at a law firm in New York City’s financial district. She came up to me and introduced herself, and then peered down at my shoes. “Oh my god aren’t you hot in those? Those are winter shoes!” she exclaimed. Admittedly, I was hot. The next day I came in wearing breathable shoes, and Dara nodded in approval. Dara had no qualms about sharing her views, and was eager in helping me shape my own. As the days went on, Dara would place the arts section of The New York Times on my desk before I got there, and then was sure to remind me that she did so. On my last day on Wall St, Dara bought me a veggie wrap, and sent me off, saying: “We’ll have to light one up soon.”

Two months later, Dara shuffled through the door of Veselka where we decided to eat dinner. She sat down immediately, and looked at only one page of the extensive menu. Dara immediately ordered a cup of coffee and a veggie burger, and assured the waitress that the restaurant had fantastic food.

The redheaded 53-year-old legal secretary from Long Island had recited all of her views before even finishing her burger. We touched upon gay rights, outsourcing money, and the idea of true democracy. Dara was not hesitant to speak her mind, especially when it came to the Republican Party. “There is no humanity out there, because you have morons like Christine O’Donnell from the Tea Bagger party.”

Her casually aggressive political opinions were interrupted by shockingly maternal ones, as she placed french fries on my plate, and repeated, “I’m so glad to see you eating” throughout the course of the meal. Though Dara never planned on having kids herself (she referred to them as the “k word”) the legal assistant provided me with motherly insight at the law firm. Once, she urged me to wash my hands after sitting at the desk of her secretarial arch nemesis. Other days, she would lecture me on how to word the perfect resume.

Dara, who even in the middle of her life remains a size four, does not have a very decadent appetite. This choice has very much to do with becoming a vegetarian after high school, and studying zoology as an undergrad at Cornell. “Being a zoologist, eating meat is just hypocritical,” she said “Plus, there are so many steroids in meat. Seeing a ten year old, look like an eighteen year old is disturbing. Roman Polanski might have not had so much trouble if the girl actually looked thirteen.”

I sought solace in Dara against the backdrop of a downtown law firm. She glided from cubicle to cubicle shedding her insights with expressive vulgarity. When the office had a bed bugs scare, she was the first to identify them, and the first to tell you how much Clorox bleach to use around the perimeter of your apartment. Dara never failed to comment on which snack I decided to get at the vending machine. She was partial to pretzels, as they are low in calories. Though her zoology background was underworked at the law firm, she assured me that she lived out her passions through her love of extreme sports, and her rescued beagle lab mix, Charlie and before that with her Himalayan that recently passed away

In the law office, Dara would answer my political questions under her breath, careful not to shake the views of her white-collared superiors. At Veselka, she responds to all of my inquiries quickly and with great ferocity. Near the end of our dinner, she tapped the pages of my journal, and suggested I get a tape recorder: “If you think I’m chatty now just wait until I’m stoned.”

Upon first glance, one might not anticipate Dara’s advocacy of Marijuana. But she assures me that, “My most important subject is marijuana—I want that shit legalized.”

It was on August 10th, 41 years ago that Dara Douglas inhaled her first breath of Marijuana and never looked back. Though Dara specifies her activism towards marijuana’s legalization, she supports political activism in its entirety. “I hope the next generation is a lot smarter,” she quipped, “If they don’t vote they can kiss their asses goodbye.”

Dara frequently quizzed me at the law firm, and scolded me for not consuming enough news. Dara was hard to compete with when it came activism. She cultivated her own political views by the time she was 18, became a self-proclaimed atheist at age 10 and was greatly involved in the no-nuke movement before she went to Cornell. Despite her position as a legal secretary, Dara has degrees in zoology and economics, the prior from Cornell, the latter from an institute in Israel.

Dara has removed the economics degree from her resume, as potential employers assume that she is over-qualified. Nevertheless, Dara considers this strategy, not insincerity. “Ask me anything,” she says while aggressively signaling for the check “I promise I’ll be honest.”